“David Bowie-Ground control to majortom” aka “Goodbye my pleaser, goodbye“
A new Amalee Original
“The art world takes great comfort in a classification, linear thought and some kind of theme and that ain’t me. My art comes from what I feel. I am most successful when I explore the collision between the loud voice of my head and the quiet beat of my heart.”
Who the hell said that? As I read “my words” I find it difficult to believe a pleaser would write those words. Yet I did, I did, I did, I did. Yep, yep I did! Every once and a while I have the words to express whats in my sole despite my desire to be liked. The injury in my childhood makes me want to be liked so much that I hide behind emotional armor.
As a result I often hold invisible swords in the beginning, middle and end of any relationship. I had no idea that I was holding them or how to put them down. Often I scared away any nice people and was familiar with critical people. Therefore I continued to be the pleaser, who did not have my best interest at heart. It was a strange Catch 22 situation that continued unconsciously until therapy.
I believe that therapy without drugs is unbelievable helpful! Learning what I was use to, and how my behavior continued to attract selfish people, who I had to please has been unbelievably mind blowing. Learning how to hear my own voice, my own desires and how talented I am is inspiring.
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