Dexlesic termagant paints without spell check
“Janis” An Amalee Original is part of a series of painting of iconic rock stars with similar elements: size, big hands in the foreground, and my own words in the background. I had the unfinished image with the hand when I had a conversation with a friend.
The thing about the movie “Ground hog Day” is sometimes I wish I could have a redo and there are times I think am in a continuous redo. Maybe these two things are true for us at the same time. Possibly if we do not examine the way we see the world and how we participate in it, we will continuously be in our own redo. It would be so much easier to figure it out if we got ten years to redo the same day.
While it seems getting the girl is the thing that stops the redo in Groundhog day, he also develops many relationships, helps people, learns to play jazz piano. He basically starts to question his place in the world, why he exists at all.
After thinking about my redo, I am beginning to glimpse how I create my life. In therapy I learned that I have to go through the hard scary feelings instead of avoiding them. I feel like this is beginning to reset my neuro pathways and will eventually free me from my redo.
I do want good relationships. Not only with my lover, but with my friends, family and myself. I want to paint paintings that make me feel satisfied. Maybe that is the point of Groundhog day, its about understanding how to be in the moment. If we had ten years of the same day it would be easier to realize how our injuries create our vision which affects how we manifest our reality. wowzer bowzer! I mean I heard that twenty thousand times but it is exciting to possibly almost understand it.
I would just like to encourage my readers to buy an art tile or 6. If you like my blog posts please support me by buying my products. I would be able to write more and I would truly appreciate your monetary support. Thank you.
“Prince, Purple Rain” Hair and cufflinks coming off the canvas
I painted this painting in August 2016, but I now find myself thinking about him more. Prince was more than comfortable being seen while I would rather stay hidden. He seemed to be so seen as who he really was and yet he seemed to die lonely and sad. Possibly one losses themselves several times in a lifetime or maybe the purpose of life is to continuously adapt to change and uncertainty.
Most of my life I have been a judgmental non conformist. I mean I have never valued the “accepted forms of being”, in fact I have been so against everything in regular American culture that I have missed out on so many wonderful things. Luckily I had children so I could do some of the stuff “for my kids” but I have recently realized I stayed outside because I believe I didn’t deserve to be part of it.
Not liking to be seen seems to be opposite to “Prince” who loved to be seen. He was talented and beautiful and he loved not only being seen but showing his amazingness. And while I am really talking out of my ass because I do not know his inner workings at all. It now seems that there was a hidden part of him that he could not express.
He could express gender ambiguity, amazing talent, and seemed to be so himself. To be an artist who makes money from my talent, I have to be seen. I started painting as a way of accessing parts of myself that were unaccessible. For whatever reason I got really comfortable in the hidden world of my imagination, even when I painted it was for me. The lesson I have to learn from Prince is to be seen. Celebrate my talent, sell my paintings.
Recently I had the funniest conversation with my lover. I told him that I wanted to have higher standards and if he liked me, he would encourage me not to see him anymore.
This has actually nothing to do with this painting but it is a female way of saying the famous Groucho Marx Quote ”
“I’ve been Klimted” an Amalee Original is not in the style of Klimt but I was kinda fascinated by his style while I was painting this painting. I took some photos at a day party in San Francisco. I captured this woman with this expression. She looked so relaxedly happy. I had to use this intriguing face and thats when I thought of Klimt. Patterns surrounding a beautiful face. While googling Klimt I found another painting that I have not found again but it was a girl in a chair with patterns. So I borrowed some from it, some from my own paintings with arms up and the face from this dance party. The diamond pattern in the background was also from my photo with the intriguing face, it was a chainlink fence.
These Amalee Originals are on display at Spressa Coffee Bar until May 16th. 
The story behind the couple of couples. 
I was at a bar at Burning Man and the first couple was standing next to me. They were so beautiful and so sensual. I took about 7 photos of them. They were so soft and tender to each other. I end up losing my camera before the end of burning man. About 4 months after I return I contact burning man head quarters and get my camera back. At which point I am extremely excited to see my couple. I open the photos and low and behold the second couple is on the other side of the bar and in every photo. I call the second couple “the happy couple” because they are so free and fun. That is the story of the couple of couples. If you want to see these originals get to Spressa before May 16th.
“The Writer” is a conceptual piece. I was getting into the texture of painting. I was in the Filmore of San Francisco at a coffee shop before work and I drew myself feeling kinda wacky. As I have always
had a big hand thing, I made her writing hand big. The first attempt I made it backwards so I had to change it along with the legs. I put the legs in and made the table round to make it more interesting. Come check out this painting before the 16th of May.
These Amalee Originals are on display at Spressa Coffee Bar in San Francisco until May 16th, Come check them out!
“Tracy Chapman” An Amalee Original
To be completely honest I never know anything for sure. I am never sure whether I am a talented artist or just a person who needs to paint. There is part of me that believes those are one and the same and yet there is the same amount of me that believes the opposite. I suppose this might be due to the fact that as a child I never learned to trust myself. I am not blaming my family for I had, for the most part, a wonderful family. However my brother died at the age of four of an aneurism. After pleading with my parents that I was actually sick and he was faking it, he went off to Sunday school and I never saw him again.
I never saw him again dead or alive. While me and my family survived this trauma, I did not get therapy until this year. I banished a part of myself when he died and this left me unable to trust anything including myself. So while I love this painting, I question why I cannot have one style.
Is it true talent that I have to paint whatever I need to paint the way I feel it or is it just A.D.D. And does it matter. If it satisfies me, what do I care if I satisfy the fucking “Art World”!
While I find undefinable satisfaction in painting, I want monetary compensation. I refuse to believe the starving artist myth. It might be a reality for me at this moment but I think it is crap. I am going to do everything in my power to make some money. You can help me. Buy my art products online and at the different events around the Bay Area. You cannot find these products in the big chain stores. Thank you for your support.
I started “To Meryl Or Not To Meryl” as a 12 inche X 12 inche painting, and turned into a 4 feet X4 feet Painting. When I saw Sophie’s Choice in the theater many years ago, I remember thinking how I loved her confession in blue light. The colors in her face while she confessed her choice made an impression I wanted to paint.
Sometimes After I finish a painting like “Toulouse and Egon Frolicking”, I find it difficult to start another painting. A painting that surpasses my expectation of myself makes it difficult to start a new one. I started small and realized I had to overcome my fear and go big.
After Meryl made her speech at the Golden Globes Awards, I remembered her blue confession. As I started painting her blue portrait from Sophie’s Choice, I came up with the words “To Meryl Or Not To Meryl”, which made me laugh. I realized it might not be funny but as an artist I decided it didn’t matter, I liked it.
I used the comic look of “Toulouse and Egon Frolicking” on the big beautiful face of Meryl. The comic look works well with the beautiful depth of colors. The words ‘To Meryl or not to Meryl” are written across her face adding another layer and relates to the style of my other paintings. Here is a sample of these paintings:
Looking at these images together I see that Meryl is different but I like it. While some paintings take on a better or at least equal quality in photographing them, Meryl is more beautiful in person. I think the bigness of her face makes it hard to appreciate the size and beauty of this painting.
I am very excited to be the featured artist at Rosenblum Cellars for the month of January. It was fun figuring out which originals I wanted to display so I came up with the musicians. I decided to try and stick with a theme because as an artist, I resist painting with a recognizable style. I am proud that “Patty Smith” and “Johnny Cash” are making their public debut in this show.
Come enjoy a delicious glass of wine and check out these beautiful paintings any day Rosenblum Cellars are open. Join us at the Artist reception, January 28, 2017 from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Meet the artist and there will be art tiles and prints available to purchase.
“Egon and Toulouse Frolicking”
I started this painting with the desire to paint another soft beautiful painting but something went haywire. I somehow ended up on this time strand where a horrible entertainer became president. So instead of feeling cozy, it made me want to be ironic. I realize it might only be funny to me but as I continue to grabble with loving myself, thats good enough. Thats Good Enough!
As a person, who is a painter, I gets to do what I wants. My favorite painters this week are Toulouse Lautrec and Egon Schiele. The painting was already started as a man and a woman in bed (how boring). So when the unthinkable happened, I realized I was still painting for the approval of other people and had to stop. I changed my favorite painters into women frolicking in bed. I used a self portrait of Egon for the blue headed woman and his drawing style. The red headed woman’s face and boots are from self portraits of Toulouse, and I shortened his lower legs. The perspective is mine or maybe from a picture from the internet, who can say for sure.
The style is kinda a new one and yet pulls elements from my Working Women Series. This series is darker humor with a more calculated criticism of society. While I love this series and I think it is brilliant, it is also a bit too depressing to always be critical. Here is a sampling of that series.
“The Wellfare Woman” 1991 An Amalee Original
“The Prostitute” 1990 An Amalee Original
“The Housewife Mother” 1990 An Amalee original”
“The Kiss, Hotel Rawanda”
An amalee original
I started this painting when Donald Trump supposedly won the 2016 U.S. presidential election. I was in shock that enough people in the United States of America supposedly voted for a racist, sexist, homophobic hater that it soothed me to paint a love scene from the movie Hotel Rawanda. The idea that jumping off a roof with your children was better than your children seeing you killed by the militia seemed fitting to idea of Donald Trump as president.
Plus I love the colors in his skin. While I painted this painting, I had to face one of my biggest and most familiar personal demons. The demon of being not myself. Recently I realized that I have always depended on the people around me to set the parameter that I adapt to. Art was the one place I could be who I am, until I became a professional artist.
I use to paint “the rebellion” of everything I held in to fit into the acceptable parameter. For the past few years I have tried to do crafts of my work and make my work more appealing. While painting this painting I faced my pleaser and rebeller, and kicked their asses. Or at least I won a battle. It is a strange thought that there is ground between pleasing and rebelling and its called being. Wow it is kinda mind blowing to be.
A strong and vulnerable Amalee Original “Relaxing Woman”
The great thing about being an artist is that you are expected to break rules, or so you would think. As an artist, I have been told several thousand times I need to have a style that is recognizable. Brush stokes and subject matter matter. My “Johnny Cash” painting pretty much sums up my feelings about this idea.
As an artist I think style is bullshit!
While a style might make it easier for an audience to recognize your work, whats the fucking point, art world! Possibly not having a recognizable style is the new thing that art scholars will debate in the future.
One reason I choose a soft scene, with no hands showing was I simply liked the image. However as I am making this post to feature it, I realize my protective side wants to come out first. Its amazing to me that I do not feel comfortable just being soft and vulnerable in a post. Or maybe this is being soft and vulnerable!
“Johnny Cash, I’m recalibrating my inner sanctimonium!”
There are times in life when I feel like this.
I am in the process of trying to change my emotional wiring. There is a part of me that wishes I could just download a new operating system. However, I am in the process of dredging my soul for the small and large injuries that created a wiring that I am finding unfulfilling.
As I dig around in the underbelly, I realize the instability of my foundation. While survival is important, I look forward to enjoying life.
I love this painting because it is funny. It captures the underground figure in my soul. Sort of a love/hate reality with humanity. On the one hand feeling superior and on the other feeling jealous, but not really feeling part of it.
Come to Adventure in Food and Wine and check out the beautiful dining room displaying Amalee originals. Enjoy some delicious food and an eclectic wine list amidst original art from local artists.
On most second and forth Fridays of every month, I will be selling art tiles here. You can also order tiles online and use coupon code “Adventure in Food and Wine” which will take off the shipping fee. This means you get to come by, pick up your tiles and have a glass of wine with me.
Amalee captures “Patti Smith”-the highly influential figure in the New York City punk rock scene
So I have $13.00 in my bag, and possibly another $3.00 in change (if I really dig around on my floor.) I do have about $35.00 in food stamps so I am not gonna stave. While I use to believe that this is what an artist’s life is “supposed” to be, I realize that is bullshit. I started out painting as an escape from reality and now, some twenty years later, it has become my profession. As you can see this painting of “Patti Smith.”
In November 2015, I lost my job as a massage therapist, and was left having to face my creative self. While I needed to make this major life transition, it has been difficult. It is my responsibility to speak for people, like me, who were forced out of a profession they loved.
I had been a massage therapist for the past twenty years. I lost my job because I lost my massage certification. This was 65 % due to the “government agency” the California Massage Therapy Council, and 35% due to my inability to run in the same way on my hamster wheel.
First, we have to look at the major transition the massage industry has been undergoing in the past twenty years. When I started in the massage industry, I needed 100 hours of education. I received a certification for 185 hours from the Shiatsu Institute in 1997. I was licensed by the city of San Francisco in 2004, because I did not need a license prior to that. San Francisco Massage licensing agency sent four notifications prior to re-licensing date and 2 after with a $25.00 late fee. In 2010, I was told by my company, it was better to receive a state certification. For an unknown amount of time, we would be grandfathered in if we did not have the required 500 hours.
The California Massage Therapy Council (CMTC) was founded in 2009. If you look at the CMTC’s website, they appear to be a state licensing agency for massage therapists However they are a non-profit organization that “certifies” massage therapists for the state of California. I received my “certification” in 2011, which cost me $280.00, including documentation and $150.00 to the CMTC for the certification. They sent me no notification ( no email or letter) when I needed to re-certify and they sent no notification when my status changed from certified to non certified. So after 20 years of working as a massage therapist, I lost my certification without any notification. I would now have to get 305 hours of massage training to be re-certified because both the city and the state now require 500 hours.
As a Californian there are questions that should be asked. How can a non profit run a state licensing agency with no standards? Where do they get their funding? Who’s interests do they represent? Certainly not massage therapists.
Then there is the 35% fault which is completely mine. 100 percent of this 35% is due to my inability to run in the same direction on my assigned hamster wheel. No matter how hard I try to run in the same direction, I don’t. I run backwards, I skip, I like to stop and smell the roses, it is completely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my fault. For most of my live I have tried my best to run at the same speed and direction on my hamster wheel and finally I realize I don’t WANNA. Granted I am a bit exaggerating my desire, but even without my desire, I did try. And finally, thanks to the CMTC, I am free.
