While lying in a hot springs looking up at the billions of stars, I began to question if there was a deeper meaning to life. For most of my life I have thought there was. I call myself a pagan, buddhist, witch. And ironically I always thought it was the little punk in me that came up with that name. However as I was lying in hot water looking up at the billions of stars I realized it truly represents the foundation of the deeper meaning of my sole.
Until last night under the stars, I defined myself and lived by reaction. I have never known who I am without bumping up against something outside myself. Saying I am a pagan in the U.S, where I would say a majority of people believe in a monotheistic religion was in part to get a reaction , maybe open a discussion. However the truth is I am a pagan, I know the earth has knowledgeable and spunky spirits. Just like the planets and sun. I study Astrology.
Laying in the hot water I started to question if I was more of a Buddhist or a Taoist or both. Looking up at the trillion stars, my mind began to dissolve all my preconceptions. My mind began to unwind and at the same time need to understand. I began to be able to sit in two completely conflicting ideas and breath. Breath in, breath out, feel the warm water. That or I completely lost my mind, and it was not scary. I mean I could attach to the fear of losing my mind, but instead I would just breath in, breath out, and feel the warm water. I did not have to convince anyone. Sitting in the warm water breathing was enough.
The word Witch…
Not the good witch or the bad witch, just the word “Witch” in my self definition. I use it to honor the many strong powerful women who paved the way for me. Each and every one of us has power- men or women. We can choose to give it away or we can choose to cultivate it. It is a choice we make every single day of our life. Granted It takes quieting the mind and listening to your soul. The sound emanates from the heart. The fear culture we live in subliminally and actively creates distraction to keep us away from ownership. The we/them culture is not our ally.
Sitting with the idea there may be no purpose to life. Sitting with the idea there may be purpose to everything. Breath in, breath out, feel the warm water. The pandemic fear is over for now, we have now moved onto the Russian fear. Are we characters in an Orwellian novel. I would say it is funny. I would also say it is serious. We all might die tomorrow, we might all die today. It might be time to drop the fear. It might be time to drop the rhetoric.
The strangest thing happened during covid. I became extremely thankful for republicans. I have always considered myself left of central, voted democrat or green, in fact, I kinda feared republicans. However I am so thankful to be part of a system where there are debates and differences. The covid vaccine is wonderful , and anyone who wants it should get it. However getting the vaccine is a choice. Personally I was proud of the truckers convoy in Canada.
I am a Demo-publican or I am a repub-acrat. It might be time to stop watching our party sponsored news outlets and talk to each other. 90 % of all people want the same thing. A peaceful community where people have respect for each others differences. Debate is good. Diversity is better and when you feel triggered by someone else’s belief, breath in, breath out.
I am thankful to be here.
To be part of this conglomeration called life on earth. Hot springs are my place of worship, and I love them. Being a citizen of the world is fascinating and I think I am going to appreciate everything a little more. I will always have a little punk in me, however I think her voice is getting quieter, and I appreciate that too. Here’s to being who you are, and breathing when you need courage or understanding and just loving yourself. Peace out.